Canoe Trippin with LB: Bear Safety

Continuation of Canoe Tripping with LB: Equipment

That right there - is an actual photo of a bear shitting in the woods

BEAR SAFETY

When I was a young girl, I was always given the same reply when I asked my mother a question with an obvious answer ' "Does a bear shit in the woods?" It was a staple, and in Jasper Alberta during the summer of 2007, I witnessed an actual bear, shitting in the woods. I called my mother immediately to let her know - yes, they do.

This was however, not the first bear I had seen in the flesh. To recall that I will have to return to my summers as a canoe trip leader. The incident took place in Algonquin Park, but not the same trip as my previous mishap (because I like to spread out the craziness for all to share). 

The week before I left for my trip news was buzzing around Ontario that there had been a bear attack in Algonquin Park. No one was harmed, but a lady and her daughter had been chased off a cliff (leaping into a lake) by a bear. 

I have and will defend that bears for the most part are not a threat, they are mainly vegetarian and have no interest in eating humans (just the processed food and garbage irresponsible campers leave behind). Bears are generally quiet and solitary, only getting to a dangerous point around their young. 

A week before my trip and I wasn't panicking, because there is no need to be afraid of bears. Pack a bear kit, make noise when in the forest and of course, don't feed the bears. Simple, easy, I told my mother not to worry when I called home, I would be fine, the campers would be safe. 

The week flew and after re-routing the trip to avoid a lake that had been closed due to a bear I was ready to rock. Before I knew it I was packed in a van with a fellow leader, seven hyper campers and one very quirky driver named Dane who always told me on a scale of 1-10 how much I "ranked" after a trip. 

When I registered at the main gate, I was told that the lake closure had been lifted and the "bear problem" solved. I didn't ask further questions, I knew it was either a relocation or they put the poor thing down and I didn't want to hear it. Either way, the original route was back in play.

Day four of the trip my group made it to the lake of the bear. It was a very windy day and we were all struggling to paddle against a strong headwind across the lake. I wanted to get as far ahead as possible before we stopped (our permit was to stay on that lake on that night). 

The weather was unforgiving of my plan, so after consideration (and a really tired upper body) I directed the canoes to a campsite to stop and set up for the evening. As we paddled closer to the site, I noticed a yellow sign posted. 

We tied up the canoes and I told the campers to hold off while I investigated. I read the sign easily: SITE CLOSED DUE TO BEAR PROBLEMS

Fucking idiots, I thought, they forgot to take the damn signs down. 

I gave the go to unpack and my junior camp counsellor agreed to walk with me to inspect the campsite. I always did this to start, locate the toilet (aka hole in the ground with a half barrel over it), look for lone wilderness men etc. 

We walked liesurley down a pine coated path and chatted as we checked things out. There was an interesting cave located a bit down the path and just as I was about to make a bear related comment, I saw it. 

I saw my first bear. Brown fur, black nose, cute little bear bum, it wandered off in the distance, just a tiny little guy, nothing scary. Nothing scary until I realized it wasn't that far off, but it was tiny, and it did have a cute little bum, because it was a bear cub. Holy fuck I thought, I have loured my campers to their deaths. 

I quietly whispered to my friend, "slowly start walking backwards, we need to leave."

She noticed the bear at this time, and we walked backwards slowly until the bear was out of sight, and made our way to the campers and more importantly the canoes. 

"OK guys!" I announced, "pack it all up, we are leaving."

The campers whined, moaned and asked why because we just got there. 

"Just move quickly, we need to leave now." I said. 

They argued again, told me it was too windy, they were tired, they like the site etc. 

"There's a bear on the site." I snapped trying my best to sound calm (shitting my pants on the inside)

That did it. My mind and heart were racing as we pushed off shore and made our way around the site, and then I saw it. 

A cliff face, a giant cliff face leading into the water located on the site I just tried to claim. A site that was clearly marked closed. I stopped at the exact site where the bear attack had happened the week before, and there it was, the cliff. 

The cliff with a giant red X painted on it because assholes like me apparently need more that a stupid sign to tell me to keep off a damn site. Assholes like me who assumed taking care of a bear problem didn't mean posting a damn sign on one site as though the bear would never travel elsewhere.

Of course, it didn't. It was still there, and this asshole almost pitched a tent and started cooking dinner meters away from a bear cave, with a cute cub and a very protective mama. 

It's a laughable matter now and was for the whole lot of us once we were safe and a bit of time had passed. I know you're thinking now, wondering, was I allowed to take more trips out after this incident?

Answer: Does a bear shit in the woods? 

Coming soon: Canoe Trippin' with LB: Bathroom Etiquette