First Steps

    It was a November afternoon and I was a first year University student, experiencing the joy of midterms for the first time. It was the new millennium, and I was looking sharp in those days. Nothing says “trendy” like baggy man’s jeans, inch long pixie cut bleach blond hair and a rainbow seat belt belt with an array of retro t-shirts to complete the look. The problem being, I'm not a lesbian; were I, this would have been appropriate fashion at the time, but I needed a break from being a hippy so that’s the direction I went.

    I was preparing for my midterm for a week in this particular class (epic comparative to my night before usual) and felt extremely nervous about it. Important to note, I am not (but continue to improve) a prompt person. I am laid back, easy going, and often late (always for important things, I'm never late for a lunch break).

    When I was in grade-school, I drove my sister insane with the amount of time I took to do anything, especially when it came to getting ready and out the door on time in the morning.

     In grade-school, my father approached me one morning and pitched a brilliant idea to race me in the morning to see who could get ready faster. No one knew I had the ability to move so quickly at that time, and I gave myself a pat on the back because 95% of the time, I won!

     It wasn't until I volunteered with children in high school that I connected the dots on this “race”. I was volunteering at a resource centre in a housing project with children. I announced to the children that it was clean up time, and we could race to see who's done first. It was brilliant I thought to myself, I'll make it a game, and they'll be none the wiser.

    Suddenly, I flashed back to my dad racing me, and realized it was all a ruse. Worse, my dad told me recently my sister use to wink at him in the mornings while I was scurrying around trying to “win”. That being said, in University, there was no race to get ready. It was up to me to make sure I was adult enough to get where I needed on time.

    So the day of the big midterm arrives, and I could barely move for the butterflies bouncing violently in my stomach. I took my time making sure I looked nice, read over my notes one last time, and made my way out to the car to head up to school.

    When I got there, I found myself with no place to park. I had forked out the money for a parking pass, with no actual available parking spaces available. I circled and circled and could see my time running out on the clock. My palms became sweatier than usual, and my heart started to flutter.

    The exam started at eleven, and it was five minutes too. I still had no space to park and it took five minutes to walk to the lecture hall. I could picture the hall now, it was one of the largest and held over six hundred students, and on a midterm day, all but one seat would be taken at this time.

    I spoke out loud as I circled around, “Oh holy fuck, late for your midterm...fuck no...fuck...space...why are there no spaces!”

    I could feel the panic set in, and red hot tears forming behind my eyes,  just then a car pulled out, and I pulled into a spot with three minutes to go.

    The second my car was locked and I had my stuff, I started to sprint. Desperately I raced across the parking lot, through the sea of students at the front lobby, and down the hallway like a lunatic, making it with one minute to spare. I didn't stop running when I got to the door however, I kept going. The exam was probably being handed out now I figured, and I still had to find a seat.

    I bust through the doors into the lecture hall of six hundred or so students, and spotted a seat in the very middle of the crowd available. I could feel myself relax, and must have somehow told my legs to follow suit. I lost it somehow, my footing that is, my legs went to jello, and down I went.

    I didn't just fall, I bailed. I crashed like a ton of bricks, then, I rolled. That's right folks, my books went flying and I rolled down the stairs, stopping, one below where I had planned to sit.

    There was not a sound to be heard in the lecture hall aside from a few gasps, and some repressed giggling. What do you do in a situation like this? The floor did not open up and swallow me, I was there, on the steps, dumbfounded. I did what any self respecting human being would do, I stood up, and I took a bow.

    Taking a bow after a stunt is still the choice I would go with if ever I had to relive through this moment (knowing me, something similar will occur again). It indicated to the audience, that I admit to it, it's funny, and I am so OK with myself, that you can now enjoy. They did, laughter erupted throughout the lecture hall, and the professor eventually had to request that people calm down.

    This became a story in my program,  and for years to follow people would talk about “the girl who fell” first year in front of me, not knowing I was that girl (note: I changed my look in this time frame).

    Take a bow, it's all you can do. With the help of another student, I collected my books, and located the seat that was smack dab in the middle of everyone. I can't say I wasn't embarrassed, I was fucking mortified. My face showed it too, with a bright red glow that I am sure even the cheap seats at the back could see, if not feel the heat coming off.

    As mentioned, I was rocking some very short hair, and had nothing to hide behind (you don't realize it's use until it's gone). I sat down in the cramped hall after such an event, red faced and still hearing the odd chuckle here and there, all while writing my very first midterm.